The Puzzle

OK...let's see if I can do this blog thing more often than once every couple of years. I doubt it - but what the heck.

The end of the world as we know it....I always thought 2012 was going to be when it happened. But I guess not...the end is not only already here but has been creeping in on us at a steady pace for years. My head spins with all the different bits and pieces of this treacherous being of change. Everything is upside down - truth is wrong, justice is evil, illegal is legal - and to speak against the new definitions means you're a lunatic. How did this happen to us? Why is it happening?

I've always thought that life is a giant jigsaw puzzle - everything is part of the puzzle. Religion, science, politics - all part of the big picture of the world. Life experiences, things learned from others, thoughts, ideas - all part of the big picture of life. Every day I discover yet another piece of the puzzle. Each piece makes the picture a bit clearer. Some pieces may change the picture completely - like the blind men and the elephant.....add a piece and the animal is different. But no matter how many times the picture changes - it still one more step toward the truth.

It used to be easy - no idea what the picture was, so every piece made sense. I knew the general area of the puzzle it belonged to. The sections were clear and stable. Lately, there are so many pieces flying at me and they don't like to fit where I think they should. Instead of fitting in neatly - it's like just one big jumbled mess of pieces...some making no sense, others fitting in here and here and over there. Sometimes I manage to fit a piece but then dozens of other sections of the puzzle are effected. Where I once had a pretty good idea of what I was looking at - I find I have no idea what it is anymore. Everything is so jumbled together. Nothing has it's own section anymore. Has it always been that way or has it all changed? Maybe it means I'm nearing the end of the puzzle? Chaos before order? Or is everything going from order into chaos?

I don't know what's happening - all I know is that is such a mess that I barely let myself think anymore. I put off working on the puzzle all to often. Instead I just let myself do nothing. This of course, is also part of the puzzle. The part where "they" want us to be overwhelmed, overworked, overstressed - "they" don't want us to see where this piece fits in the puzzle. And it does fit. It's a sneaky little piece though....because it's not just one piece. It fits in every section of the puzzle all at once. It's there to blind us - to keep us from seeing the picture and it even keeps us from seeing the empty spaces. At the same time - it can't be removed because it IS part of the puzzle. I think the key is to know it's there - but to not see it. It must be ignored or the puzzle can't be finished. It's such a beautiful piece - it calls to you. Like the Sirens calling to sailors - it wants you to come to it. When you stare at it - it blocks your mind. It tries to make you forget that there is a puzzle at all. The scariest thing about this piece - is that many people have found it but succombed to it's call, before ever knowing what it really is. Once this has happened...it's nearly impossible to get away from it's clutches. Even when you know what it is - it still calls for you and pulls at you. Don't think, don't worry, just look at me and life is good. You'll forget, it'll be just fine.

As other pieces pile up and get more and more confusing - the call of that one piece becomes harder to ignore. Each time you succomb to it - the harder it is to escape it's grasp. Then one day, you stop trying - it has you.

The victims of this piece no longer understand people who question life and the world around them. How can they not realize how IMPORTANT the Super Bowl is and why the winner of American Idol is CRUCIAL to society? Don't they know that only thing that should be on the news are the STARS!! Who cares how many people died in the war, or where the last bombing was, or what bills have become laws - that is all a stupid waste of time! You just no longer understand these nut jobs. The truthers, birthers and teabaggers need to get a life!

So far, the piece hasn't gotten me completely. It has beaten me in a few battles. It's call is getting more frequent and it's song is getting sweeter. I worry that I can't fight it much longer. I question whether the battles are even worth fighting anymore. Can you see that? It's winning.

Ever so slowly, it's creeping in and the insidious change is happening. But for today - I have beaten it. I still see the puzzle and I have a lot of pieces left to find.

~jeandiata